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Disclaimer: I am not a brain or brain rewiring expert. I am simply sharing my personal journey and my personal understanding as it makes sense to me.
Oh, There You Are, Peter
My favorite line from one of my favorite movies is, “Oh, there you are, Peter.” Peter Banning, played by Robin Williams in the movie, Hook, had no idea who he really was. He had no idea that he was actually the grown up Peter Pan until he had to go to Neverland to save his children from Hook. When the child in him started to emerge, he was finally recognized by the lost boys of Neverland.
My favorite line starts with the scene where one of the children stands in front of a kneeling Robin Williams. The young boy first removes Peter’s glasses. He then uses his small hands to mold Peter’s face this way and that. The music intensifies while the rest of the lost boys stand silently observing. The small boy finally uses his hands to pull Peter’s mouth up into a forced smile just before saying, “Oh, there you are, Peter.”
Goosebumps. Tears. More goosebumps. Yup, it gets me every time.
Oh, There You Are, Debbie
Once gluten free, and feeling immense personal improvements, I felt that I could look in the mirror and finally say to myself, “Oh, there you are, Debbie.” (I shared my personal journey in my post, A Lifetime of Undiagnosed Celiac: A Life Put on Hold.)
As the years progressed, however, I realized that I only found a part of me.
Isn’t this the case for each of us?–constantly seeking ourselves, finding ourselves, losing ourselves, and then having to rediscover ourselves? And honestly, we are each made up of so many parts that this discovery always finds something new. We are never done–and we have to be OK with that. We are continuous evolving beings.
As I’m writing this (in March of 2023) I’m working harder at working less. Instead of forcing what I think I want or what I think I should be doing, I am working at listening to my GPS as I shared in my last post.
I certainly don’t believe that I’ll wake up to an email one day, with my agenda clearly outlined. I don’t expect a voice to speak out to me. But I 100% believe that by allowing more inner peace, and listening to gut (or instinct, or that inner voice) we can make bigger strides in the right direction.
This is not something I’ve achieved. Honestly, I don’t believe there is a point where anyone of us can make that claim: “I figured it all out! I understand life now!” I can say, however, that I’m having success in my efforts, and I’m grateful for the process. I am learning how to quiet some of that background chatter. I am learning how to slow down my thoughts. I’m learning how to focus more on gratitude and simple joy. Bit by bit, piece by piece, the vision is to reach for light and to avoid hovering in darkness.
Finding joy in writing again tells me that I’m on track. Honestly, writing or not writing, being “on-track” is something we know simply by feeling that peace, that joy, and that increased simplicity of life.
My ultimate writing goal is to share my journey through brain retraining. Brain retraining, after all, was the starting point of my transition towards increased inner peace. I started a program in March of 2022. It is work. It is daily work. But finding a calmer, more peaceful, and a less fragrance sensitive person within myself is keeping me on this journey. I KNOW this is what my brain needs.
More information on brain retraining and limbic system impairment to come in future posts.
*IMPORTANT NOTE: While brain retraining is diminishing my fragrance sensitivity, this in NO WAY implies that fragrance sensitivity is in my head (or anyone else’s head). It is real and it is life-diminishing. Neither is this about brain washing. It is about neuroplasticity and it is about changing the way my body responds to triggers. This in NO WAY diminishes the need for fragrance-free awareness and the immense need for awareness about ingredients in products that should be avoided for people, pets, wildlife, aquatic life, and environment.